Temporary Housewife

Therese Borchard feels like a therapist like figure in my life, although I only know her through her articles.  Today's post is brought to you by this article about self growth in the new year.  What are these 5 questions? 1. What is one thing I don't enjoy? 2. What is one thing I do enjoy? 3. What is my purpose? 4. What did I learn last year? 5. What do I want to learn? Let's tackle these questions one by one.  They require heavy lifting and I'm not quite stretched out, but I'll give it my best. What is one thing I don't enjoy? Oy.  What a loaded question.  How big or small are we talking?  Because I don't like cooked carrots or being cold.  But if I dig down a little deeper in my soul, I don't enjoy having a lack of purpose.  (side note: question 3 is going to suck)  I mean, I have purposes but I don't have The Big Purpose, something that completely satisfies my soul.  I don't think I've ever had it and that emptiness...

Dear Mother Nature, What is up with the weather?  I just talked to a friend in Colorado and I've seen northern Wisconsin on my sister's Marco Polo's and I can look out my own window. Where is the snow? I'm not a big fan of winter as I'm a perpetual popsicle.  No one uses me as a barometer for the temperature of the room.  My mom often asks, "Isn't it warm in here?  Let's open a door..." Meanwhile I'm dressed in three layers and laying under a blanket, sipping a hot decaf while shivering. That being said, if I'm going to have winter I want Winter.  It's been spring-like for weeks now and then it just dropped into the teens.  Zero white stuff.  There is something wrong with bracing winds and talking about how the air hurts your face surrounded by brown grass and shriveled leaves.  If I am going to be cold I want to see some of that winter beauty before me.  Despite the need to bring out my snow blower, I want to see snowflakes.  I...

Or was. Gary is our main floor toilet and he was pissing me off so much.  For as long as we've lived here, Gary has been intermittently running on an off.  Sometimes every hour.  Sometimes every 5 minutes.  But he ran.  He ran like his life depended on it. Many attempts were made over the last year and a half, mostly fiddling with the float level.  Yet he kept running. But not today, Gary.  Not today!  There is only so much a woman can take, listening to the sudden swoosh of water filling the tank at seemingly random times. I did it.  Researched it, then I read the tank lid (Kohler has a lovely schematic and trouble shooting guidelines right there on the toilet).  I went to the local hardware store and called up Kohler right there in the aisle to make sure I was buying the right item.  I was, went home, chiseled out the old, worn, disgusting seal and replaced it with a bright yellow new one. And that sound you hea...

So I've been rather quiet on my weight loss because, like having BP, I don't want to talk about a single topic too much.  I get tired of it and I can only surmise that anyone who reads this stuff gets a little UGH if I'm talking about it too much.  Right?  Right. This and recent posts are a result of practicing writing.  I have no idea what the word count on these posts are, but I've been reading up on how to be a better writer.  How to do that?  Reading more and getting in at least 300 words per day.  What does that mean to you?  More posts hopefully in an effort to get better.  Which means some of these are going to suck.  Lucky you! Anyway! As of this time last year, I was 45 pounds heavier.  Yep, I'm down 45 pounds.  I lost weight over the holidays, if you can believe that.  How?  I'm still working out the details, but as far as I can tell it is because I stopped hyperfocusing on weight loss.  This summ...

I am currently in the kitchen right now, pan frying bacon. And I'm going to confess something I haven't really admitted to myself until just now: I hate making bacon.  It sprays all over the place and it is reaaaaallllllyy tedious work.  I've been at it for 10 minutes now and I am not even through a quarter of a pound. "But Lori!" you say.  "Lori!  Use the oven!" EVEN WORSE.  That skin melting spatter that is on my stovetop is then transferred to a small, blazing hot space where the spatter gets cooked into smoke that my smoke detectors tell me is not good.  I mean, I love me some bacon smell but I do not care for burned bacon odor.  Even better: I'm cooking two pounds of bacon!  Because of my stupid Whole30 that I did to myself so thank you so much, Lori, for that brilliant idea, I can't eat the normal bacon because SUGAR.  So I'm doing a pound of my special rainbow starlight bacon and a pound of porky normal bacon. And I am not ...

Here is a run down of how to switch your careers, and I'll tell you this: if you follow my easy to follow plan, nothing will stand in your way! Think about what you'd like to be when you grow up.   Ballerina?  High powered executive?  World famous author?  Write it down.  Think about your options. Slow your roll, reader.  Go back to that list and cross of ballerina, high powered executive, and world famous author.  Be realistic about your dreams.  If you are 41 years old with zero dance experience, the chances of you making a living as a ballerina is exactly zilch.  Zippo.  Ain't happening.  And while becoming a high powered exec is within the realm of possibility, it isn't within the realm of probability.  Same for becoming the next J.K. Rowling.  Narrow your field and make it reasonable.   Make a plan.   Take some dance classes but keep your day job.  Be more ambitious at work and claw your way...

And also: sugar is the devil.  Let's start from the beginning.  This being brain sick is for the birds.  Do birds cry?  Didn't Prince make a song about dove's crying ?   When they cry, do they like REALLY cry, with tears and boogers coming out of their nose holes? <off to the Google> Well how about that!  They do have tear ducts!   But they do not cry.  Not like what I do on my bad days. The good news is that I had five really lovely normal days of living.  No crying, no self loathing, no gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair.  NO DRAMA.  It was wonderful.  I spent time with G and it was... almost easy to be alive.  Sure, I had my responsibilities and normal frustrations, but my reactions to such minor hardships were in proportion to said hardship.  Like on Saturday, we did Christmas cookies.  I accidentally doubled a recipe and almost lost it... but I didn't!  I was stressed and mildly ov...