Whelp, we've gone beyond "Stingy September" or "Frugal February".
Miserly March.
...
Anti-Spending April? Yeah, I'm out of money saving themed names for months.
Ever since the great recession of Aught Eight, America has embraced frugality. First, it was out of necessity for many of us. Then, it became the cool thing to do. Pinterest and frugal blogs boomed with ideas of how to save money. To this day, you can Google a ton of ideas on how to be frugal. Here I offer up my own little list of what to do or avoid to pinch those precious pennies.
1. Accept that Target is the devil.
Yes, I know we all know this, intrinsically, and yet the bulls-eye hypnotizes most of us to come in anyway. I think we can all gather around the electric fireplace to share our most shameful Target runs that began with the need for a deodorant and ended with a complete set of silver charger plates, an insulated water bottle, two clearance shirts, a package of underwear, three pants in the next size up for Junior or nephew or niece or grandchild or next door neighbors adorable kid (also on clearance!), toilet paper and lip gloss. And no deodorant.
2. Couponing is a giant pile of baloney.
Unless, of course, you are out to purchase actual baloney. Because do they have coupons for tomatoes? NO. Do they have coupons for steaks? NO. How about sour cream? YES, but they suck. 25 cents off when you buy 3 tubs of sour cream. Who the heck does that? Coupons are for things I don't buy, so when I comb through the papers and I'm all like, hey! A coupon for Oil of Olay anti-wrinkle cream! It's normally $17 but I can get it for $12 with this coupon! Score!
No. I don't buy anti-wrinkle cream. Well, I would if it were cheaper, but I like my pocket book more than smooth skin, so sue me. $5 off of something you don't buy is still spending money on crap you don't need. I don't buy on brand for a lot of stuff because the store brand is almost always cheaper than the on brand stuff even with the coupon. (Except Doritos because off brand Doritos taste weird.)
Plus: it's really time consuming. I spent hours this summer clipping and planning and executing said plan and probably lost money doing it.
3. Just say no to Costco
WHOA. Did someone just say that? Yes, right here. Me. Look, I get Costco or Sams Club or anything of that nature for larger families. Totally get it. We have 2.5 people here. Wee daughter doesn't eat a whole lot, doesn't use a whole lot of anything. *We* don't use a whole lot of stuff. I used to love Costco for when my family came into town because we all ate enough salad and fruits and veggies to justify purchasing 7 pounds of bananas, a metric ton of spinach, and a crate of grapes. But when family comes to visit now that we are local, its for a couple of days, not a week. We don't go through that much produce!
What about the meat? Yes, the meat was usually decently priced.
But you know where else meat is decently priced? At the grocery store, especially when it is on sale. And I don't have to pay $59 a year to go to Pick n Save.
What about paper products? Not competitive enough with Amazon or your box stores. Plus, talk about stupid inconvenient! How many of you have had to get a second oversized cart for their 74 giant mega rolls of toilet paper?
4. Making your own __________, or as I like to call it: falling into the Pinterest circle of hell.
How many of us have gone through the DIY rollercoaster for nifty little do dads or personal hygiene items to save money only to realize that you've become the new poster child for Pinterest fails?
Case in point: G loves those bath fizzies. Bath fizzies are expensive. So why not make your own bath fizzies? Sure! And the results were wonderful smelling hockey pucks of death that utilized expensive ingredients and made the bath tub an oil slick that required two intense scrubbing sessions with chemicals AND also slicked my kid's hair so much that three showers were required before she actually looked clean again.
I do my own cleaners sometimes, true. But on the whole, I leave the personal hygiene products to the professionals or the capable brave. Neither are me.
So what is my best advice for saving money? Don't spend it. Still mastering that over here, so no judgment. Seriously. I hear the Giant Bulls Eye calling me, and I must go.
Miserly March.
...
Anti-Spending April? Yeah, I'm out of money saving themed names for months.
Ever since the great recession of Aught Eight, America has embraced frugality. First, it was out of necessity for many of us. Then, it became the cool thing to do. Pinterest and frugal blogs boomed with ideas of how to save money. To this day, you can Google a ton of ideas on how to be frugal. Here I offer up my own little list of what to do or avoid to pinch those precious pennies.
1. Accept that Target is the devil.
Yes, I know we all know this, intrinsically, and yet the bulls-eye hypnotizes most of us to come in anyway. I think we can all gather around the electric fireplace to share our most shameful Target runs that began with the need for a deodorant and ended with a complete set of silver charger plates, an insulated water bottle, two clearance shirts, a package of underwear, three pants in the next size up for Junior or nephew or niece or grandchild or next door neighbors adorable kid (also on clearance!), toilet paper and lip gloss. And no deodorant.
2. Couponing is a giant pile of baloney.
Unless, of course, you are out to purchase actual baloney. Because do they have coupons for tomatoes? NO. Do they have coupons for steaks? NO. How about sour cream? YES, but they suck. 25 cents off when you buy 3 tubs of sour cream. Who the heck does that? Coupons are for things I don't buy, so when I comb through the papers and I'm all like, hey! A coupon for Oil of Olay anti-wrinkle cream! It's normally $17 but I can get it for $12 with this coupon! Score!
No. I don't buy anti-wrinkle cream. Well, I would if it were cheaper, but I like my pocket book more than smooth skin, so sue me. $5 off of something you don't buy is still spending money on crap you don't need. I don't buy on brand for a lot of stuff because the store brand is almost always cheaper than the on brand stuff even with the coupon. (Except Doritos because off brand Doritos taste weird.)
Plus: it's really time consuming. I spent hours this summer clipping and planning and executing said plan and probably lost money doing it.
3. Just say no to Costco
WHOA. Did someone just say that? Yes, right here. Me. Look, I get Costco or Sams Club or anything of that nature for larger families. Totally get it. We have 2.5 people here. Wee daughter doesn't eat a whole lot, doesn't use a whole lot of anything. *We* don't use a whole lot of stuff. I used to love Costco for when my family came into town because we all ate enough salad and fruits and veggies to justify purchasing 7 pounds of bananas, a metric ton of spinach, and a crate of grapes. But when family comes to visit now that we are local, its for a couple of days, not a week. We don't go through that much produce!
What about the meat? Yes, the meat was usually decently priced.
But you know where else meat is decently priced? At the grocery store, especially when it is on sale. And I don't have to pay $59 a year to go to Pick n Save.
What about paper products? Not competitive enough with Amazon or your box stores. Plus, talk about stupid inconvenient! How many of you have had to get a second oversized cart for their 74 giant mega rolls of toilet paper?
 |
| 3000 square feet of plastic wrap purchased circa 2008. Total used: ~500 square feet. |
4. Making your own __________, or as I like to call it: falling into the Pinterest circle of hell.
How many of us have gone through the DIY rollercoaster for nifty little do dads or personal hygiene items to save money only to realize that you've become the new poster child for Pinterest fails?
Case in point: G loves those bath fizzies. Bath fizzies are expensive. So why not make your own bath fizzies? Sure! And the results were wonderful smelling hockey pucks of death that utilized expensive ingredients and made the bath tub an oil slick that required two intense scrubbing sessions with chemicals AND also slicked my kid's hair so much that three showers were required before she actually looked clean again.
 |
| DIY Bath Fizzies a.k.a. DIY Oil Spills |
So what is my best advice for saving money? Don't spend it. Still mastering that over here, so no judgment. Seriously. I hear the Giant Bulls Eye calling me, and I must go.
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